Great!  It’s sophomore year.  You’re not exactly new but still not old enough to have an extended curfew, drive or buy condoms.  But your chances of being cool just jumped tremendously.  See, when you’re a freshman, both friendship and courtship, are only options for your older, more mature counterparts.  But, as a sophomore, you now get to enjoy being on display as the “somewhat” new kid in school.

How your life could change:

1.       You could make varsity – I mean could – depending on how large your school is, or if you have a winning team.

2.       Befriend a junior . . . that has a license . . . and a car.

3.       Date a senior . . . if you happen to be a sophomore girl . . . and your parents are very naïve.

How you can make it happen:

1.       Fake it till’ you make it – Get a jersey. Order the Augusta Sportswear Stadium Replica jersey from Once you have it, put it on, go outside and roll in the grass, pay your little brother to pry his small fingers into some of the holes to break a couple, and finally, take your gym shoes, your dog’s blanket and jersey. Put them together in a trash bag in a hot garage for 48 hours.   Then, you’re ready for tryouts.  NEVER show up to practice in brand new gear or you’ll be eaten alive!

2.       Hawkeye – When the bell rings at the end of the day, don’t rush to the door like everyone else. Instead, perch high atop the school’s catwalk and look out the window to see who’s got the keys.  Hone in on the shiniest cars – always a sure sign that someone just got their license.  Next, get on your Smartphone, go to , search shirts with No Minimum and design a business shirt with the phrase Quickie Carwash on the chest.  That junior will offer you a ride, thinking you’ll give them a free carwash in exchange.  That gives you the chance to charm them into friendship.

3.       Easy – Order a v-neck tank top like the Bella + Canvas Ladies Flowy V-Neck Tank  and the Badger Ladies’ Cheerleader Shorts.  Hang out by the locker room and that’s it.




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