Some people love decorating their houses with fake spider webs draped through the bushes and around the house. It reminds you getting yarn caught in a hangnail- borderline homicide. Some people take the "Trick or treat" request too far causing parents to wonder if they should let their kids walk into a strangers house to show they're double jointed or call the police. No one - man, woman or child sets foot passed your threshold unless they're bearing Carryout Chinese. Some people love to dress up for Halloween- you don't.

Despite your feelings of disdain, Halloween is still on its way. You can't be anti-celebration because you'll be immediately called out by friends and family for ruining in the holiday. So now it's time to strategize. Lay low, do the least amount of work and go gently into that sweet All Saints Day.


Begin with the decor: one Happy Halloween window cling and a pumpkin. Done.

Treats consist of a lonely bucket of snack size candy placed on the front stairs; leave the tricks to the Tricks. Now for the costume, or rather the Halloween outfit, that requires no specialty store shopping.

Go to, design a shirt, order and receive your shirt in time for Halloween. If anyone hassles you, just tell them it’s on its way. Grab a friend and choose a Canvas Long-Sleeve Hawthorne Baseball T-Shirt in blue or red; add Smalls or Benny the Jet to the back and go as The Sandlot. Try a Code V Ladies’ Camouflage T-Shirt in pink and go as a lady of Duck Dynasty! Or go with the Gildan Ultra Cotton Jersey Sport Shirt in Gray and design a Bayside High School emblem on the pocket and go as Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell.


No one will ever again question your commitment to the season when they see you’ve ordered a shirt from Whooptee. With Whooptee it’s hassle-free . . .Happy Haunting.


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